Toxic People and High School Torment

  Ugh. Where to start today? I have so many topics running through my head. Removing toxic people from your life, or Does What Happens in High School actually affect your adult life? I think that we can possibly touch on both without getting too long.... I'll try!
     Okay, toxic people. I removed an entire family(who is a part of my family) entirely from my life around 10 years ago. Yes, it was necessary;  I was going through a nasty divorce and they were inserting themselves where they really didn't need to be and making things a lot tougher than they needed to be.  Do I regret doing so? No. They made their decision about the part they wanted to play in my life when they sided with my ex-husband in our divorce. Do I ever think about letting them back into my life? Yes. I have actually tried a few times, and there are a couple of members that I have allowed limited access into my life. When I tried with certain members, it soon became evident that they were only keeping a place in my life to report back to my ex-husband what was going on in my life. For example, We had been divorced for 2 years, and I had remarried. My husband and I were expecting a baby; and certain members of this family cornered my mom at her job and asked her why I hadn't informed my ex-husband about my pregnancy. Yes, it is sad that I had to remove members of my family from my life. I'm not happy about it, but for my peace of mind, it had to be done. I don't regret it, and I doubt I ever will.
    Now, does what happens in high school affect your adult life? To an extent I believe it can. I don't think that the petty disagreements and the little tiffs that go on make much of a difference, but I do think that some of the bigger things can cause some lasting problems. I was very small, quiet,  and wanted to be liked in high school. This led to me being picked on a lot. There are times that I was physically picked up and thrown into the locker room shower...At one time, the girls in the locker room were trying to carry me into the bathroom to give me a swirly...I actually fought back that time, which resulted in my having my face slapped, but at least I managed to avoid having my head dunked in the toilet. I now do have extreme anxiety and I really worry about things that I say and what people's reaction to it will be. Now, I realize that I am an adult; and those things rarely happen; but I still have a huge fear of public showers, as well. Do I feel that what happened in high school caused me to have anxiety as an adult? I don't really know. I do think that it played a part. You don't hear a lot from the kids that were picked on in high school, because most of them were too scared to speak up...I'm actually terrified at the reaction to this blog post; but what will be, will be. I'm done hiding and letting these things torment me. 
     To close: Removing toxic people from your life and gaining closure by talking about things that have been locked away for almost 20 years can do nothing but help you! I hope this blog post gives y'all the courage to get things off your chest, or remove that toxic individual from your life!

Busier days

     Well, when I said busy times were coming, I wasn't kidding! I didn't realize exactly how busy it was going to get! The NP CHILD showed her horse at the district and state 4H shows, coming home with the district 4H Senior showmanship championship and the Senior performance high point at district show; reserve champion state 4H showmanship as well! She's had a great show season. We have 1 association show left, and the county fair starts tomorrow, so wish us luck! The BABY got her first really good ribbon at the show last night; placing 2nd out of 5 in leadline. She's growing up so fast!! The GAMER was here for around 6 weeks this summer, and he did some riding as well. He actually did extremely well in the Buckaroo age division this year. It was so nice to spend some extra time with him! The NP CHILD spent a lot of time at overnight activities this year, so the BABY, THAT CHILD and the GAMER got to spend a lot of quality time together with myself and the BEAST. 
  We have been so busy this year that the NP CHILD actually opted out of showing cattle this year at the fair...She just didn't have enough time to get them ready, and I am so proud of her for realizing that she didn't have the time to do them justice. The first heifer that she showed, however; calved a really nice bull calf about a month ago. Only bull calves were born here this year, so if the NP CHILD wants to show a heifer next year, we're going to have to purchase one. But that's more in the future. THAT CHILD has decided not to show anything at the fair this year, and I'm going to respect that decision, except for the crafts that he has made that I saved for him to enter. Today is what I think of as the "calm before the storm". All heck is about to break loose tomorrow! Good Luck to you and yours this county fair season!   

Busy times!

     It has been a long, busy 7 months of no posts here! We now have a 3 year old, a 7 year old and a 15 year old living in this house! The GAMER is still staying in Minnesota; but he turned 14 this spring as well!  Time just keeps on moving along!  For the time being we have been super busy with birthdays, holidays, fundraisers, sports, 4H and show season...It's coming WAY faster than any of us planned! Now it's just about upon us, and we aren't ready...But we will be!  Practice definitely makes perfect! School is going great, for THAT CHILD and the NP CHILD, and the BABY is learning and talking up a storm... We are definitely starting to get more independent and wanting to do more.  The GAMER will be coming down to visit for the summer soon; and I am as nervous as I would be as if I were going on a first blind date! 
     It has been an absolute whirlwind of activity the last 2 weeks, what with horse shows, activities, awards ceremonies and school getting out for summer! I'm so glad that it's finally out and we have the summer with the kids home; so we aren't trying to fit riding/showmanship practices into the couple of hours after school. Let me just tell you, trying to get 4 horses worked between 4 and 7 isn't the easiest thing to get done! And we have a heifer that is to the point where she's going to need to stand tied and be rinsed twice a day...It is a busy season for sure! District horse show is coming up and we haven't looked at the patterns yet! It all gets busier and busier! Good luck this summer to you and yours, God Bless!