STAND!

  For once, this blog isn't going to have anything to do with my life or my children. I was scrolling through my facebook news feed this morning; and it was totally blown up with the NFL and the kneeling for the anthem. And as I started reading the comments, there were people defending it; saying things like: "you know that they aren't protesting the military, they are protesting Trump", "they're protesting the government" or "it's an equality issue". You know what? I really don't care. Do you think that my 92-year old WWII veteran neighbor cares?  All he sees is people in a position to be such great role models for kids disrespecting a flag that represents a country that he fought to protect.  Do you think that any war veteran cares about their protests? These veterans put their lives on hold to fight for our freedom. Sometimes at the expense of their family, their home, their lives as they knew it. They PROTECTED this country! There were dads that didn't meet their babies until they were almost a year old, families that lost their homes because their mortgage company wasn't sympathetic to the fact that they were overseas fighting for our freedom, families that were separated because they couldn't make their marriage work after so much time apart.  The REASON we stand for the anthem is out of respect for those who were willing to put their lives on hold, possibly to die, for us to have the CHOICE to sit or stand for the anthem. No one is making you do anything...But for me, I honor those people by standing.

Just My Honest Opinion

     Yesterday a large and very colorful part of my childhood went to heaven. A man that I loved like my own family. Days like that I wish that Minnesota was just a short drive away. It seems that there is so much loss in life. Two years ago around Christmas the same thing happened, a man that I had been fond of my entire life passed unexpectedly. Thank God that I was up there visiting; and was able to attend his wake. The very next year that man's wife passed right around Thanksgiving, and I was again visiting family; but weather made attending the services impossible.  It makes a person wonder... God is supposed to be Omnipotent and Omnipresent...Does He engineer these things to happen when they are convenient? In the last 2 situations I mentioned, I would say yes. But there are others that were so inconvenient... I'm not quite understanding the lesson to be learned there yet. 
       Second-guessing things is in my nature...It took me a very long time to figure out that I need to filter what I say sometimes...Now I realize that stopping and thinking about what I say is probably better than blurting out the first thing that is on my mind. This practice has helped with my temper, as well. I don't like confrontation; but if I am pushed, and pushed, etc; and frustration is allowed to build, I will react; and it more than likely will not be what is expected from me. I don't like this part of myself; but it's what happens. 
       Another thing that has been on my mind in the last couple of days is social media. I don't understand how a person can be a warrior when they are in front of a keyboard; but a mouse when they are spoken to publicly.   I have seen it more and more since the presidential election. I'm all for people having their own opinion and sharing such opinion; but there is no reason to degrade another person for the beliefs that they have. I do not care if you are black, white, purple, red, blue, or whatever. I believe that we would be better served to start talking to each other in person again. Just my Honest opinion!

With God All Things are Possible!

    It has been a tough, busy week around here and we are only 2 days in...That doesn't bode well for the rest of the week! Sunday, the 27th; made 18 years since I lost someone very near and dear to me... I will forever wonder who he would have turned out to be. Would he have finished vet school? Gotten married? Had kids? Would we still even be friends? And I also have to reflect on who I am without his presence in my life... 1999-2000 was a really hard year for me. To be 17 and lose someone that was that big a presence in your life is really traumatic. My grades suffered a little bit, but I think, for the most part I came out pretty good. I never did decide what i want to be when I grow up... I absolutely loved working as a nursing assistant, and I loved working in restorative nursing even more; but neither was a career choice of mine...I took the CNA class because it was offered at the local college... I took the TMA class because I had 2 friends going and it would give me that little bit more on my name badge... Now I'm a stay at home mom, horse show judge, and lesson instructor.  I LOVE these jobs most of the time. 
    That being said, the most of the time part kicked in hard yesterday...The NP Child lost the adapter for the horse trailer, so the BEAST had to find another one. THAT CHILD fell asleep on the way to town and fell out of the truck when I opened the door, The BABY was probably the only thing that acted the way it was supposed to yesterday. We did 4H club pictures last night. It was quite a trial getting there, but we made it and got them done, even in the monsoon of rain that we got on top of everything. God obviously tested me yesterday...But, we made it; we got the pictures taken, everything got done the way it was supposed to. I can't complain. With God all things are possible! (Even the ones that seem completely, utterly impossible!)

Let Go and Let God.

   It has been the larger portion of a year since I have posted anything here... Things have changed since Christmas last year; I think for the better, mostly. THAT child started first grade and is doing well. The NP Child started 8th grade doing 2 Pre-AP classes, and with a boyfriend. The BABY is talking up a storm and generally being adorable, if not a little naughty. The GAMER is still living with his father, 900 miles away; and has had a recent diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. For those who don't know what that is, it is a higher-functioning form of autism.  It is referred to as the genius syndrome, because the people who have it are generally very intelligent. Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson and  Temple Grandin are said to have been afflicted with it.
    My faith and friendships have grown in the last year; even without attending the church that we had been going to.  I learned to rely on God even when I wasn't directed to...I'm still looking for a church that is the right fit for us; but I am still seeing God work in my life. I feel like I have grown as an individual, and I think that we have grown as a family. A couple of years ago a diagnosis like the GAMER just got would have thrown me in to a full-fledged panic attack, and I would have been on my way up there the very next day. Now I am able to look at it from a much more calm perspective.
     I am so thankful to each and every one of the people I have met in the past year, as they have made a big difference in my life; as well as all of my old friends. I have learned how to embrace the good, and let go of the bad. I have truly learned how to "Let go and let God."