Ugh. Where to start today? I have so many topics running through my head. Removing toxic people from your life, or Does What Happens in High School actually affect your adult life? I think that we can possibly touch on both without getting too long.... I'll try!
Okay, toxic people. I removed an entire family(who is a part of my family) entirely from my life around 10 years ago. Yes, it was necessary; I was going through a nasty divorce and they were inserting themselves where they really didn't need to be and making things a lot tougher than they needed to be. Do I regret doing so? No. They made their decision about the part they wanted to play in my life when they sided with my ex-husband in our divorce. Do I ever think about letting them back into my life? Yes. I have actually tried a few times, and there are a couple of members that I have allowed limited access into my life. When I tried with certain members, it soon became evident that they were only keeping a place in my life to report back to my ex-husband what was going on in my life. For example, We had been divorced for 2 years, and I had remarried. My husband and I were expecting a baby; and certain members of this family cornered my mom at her job and asked her why I hadn't informed my ex-husband about my pregnancy. Yes, it is sad that I had to remove members of my family from my life. I'm not happy about it, but for my peace of mind, it had to be done. I don't regret it, and I doubt I ever will.
Now, does what happens in high school affect your adult life? To an extent I believe it can. I don't think that the petty disagreements and the little tiffs that go on make much of a difference, but I do think that some of the bigger things can cause some lasting problems. I was very small, quiet, and wanted to be liked in high school. This led to me being picked on a lot. There are times that I was physically picked up and thrown into the locker room shower...At one time, the girls in the locker room were trying to carry me into the bathroom to give me a swirly...I actually fought back that time, which resulted in my having my face slapped, but at least I managed to avoid having my head dunked in the toilet. I now do have extreme anxiety and I really worry about things that I say and what people's reaction to it will be. Now, I realize that I am an adult; and those things rarely happen; but I still have a huge fear of public showers, as well. Do I feel that what happened in high school caused me to have anxiety as an adult? I don't really know. I do think that it played a part. You don't hear a lot from the kids that were picked on in high school, because most of them were too scared to speak up...I'm actually terrified at the reaction to this blog post; but what will be, will be. I'm done hiding and letting these things torment me.
To close: Removing toxic people from your life and gaining closure by talking about things that have been locked away for almost 20 years can do nothing but help you! I hope this blog post gives y'all the courage to get things off your chest, or remove that toxic individual from your life!
